Carnivore Breakfast Muffins

Photo by Rob Robitaille

I have to be at work early, so I tend to take my breakfast with me and munch on it during my morning routine.  Therefore, stuff you can eat with your hands is great.  This is a simple recipe that I really like, because they are basically muffins, but better, because they have all the best breakfast ingredients in them. Well, except bacon, but I am working on it.

Carnivore Breakfast Muffins

• 1 lb. bulk breakfast sausage
• 4 eggs
• 8 oz. grated cheddar cheese (or whatever floats your boat)
• Bread crumbs from about 2 slices of bread
• Any extras you want to add to spruce things up (extra sage, black pepper, crushed red pepper, etc.)
• Salt to taste
• 1 tube of flaky biscuits (typically 8 in a tube), or make your own.  More power to you!
• A standard size muffin pan with 1 dozen cups.

Preheat your oven to 350 F.  Mix all ingredients (except biscuits, of course).  It helps to bring the sausage up to room temperature, otherwise you will get a little exercise mixing.  Next, peel one biscuit in half horizontally, and stretch out a bit with your fingers to make a larger disk.  Then place over a cup in a muffin pan.  Spoon in the mixture to just fill the biscuit and repeat.  Bake for 30 minutes and let cool a bit in the pan, maybe 10 minutes.  Then remove to a cooling rack. I make these on Sunday afternoon and they are good for the whole work week.  Just a little time in the microwave and bingo, quick easy breakfast.  I hope you try them.

Hot Dog Makeover

Prosciutto wrapped hot dogs.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

People are always surprised to find out that I love hotdogs, not to mention hamburgers, fries, you name it.  Just because I like to cook a bit on the elaborate side of things, doesn't mean that I don't love the American classics.  But, I am also known to not leave things well enough alone and hot dogs are not immune to this.  I like them any way; fried, grilled, roasted, steamed, and simmered in water.  But one of my very favorite ways to mix things up is to wrap them in other meat products, namely dried beef and even better, prosciutto.  And, nothing could be simpler.  Just lay out a nice piece of, in this example, prosciutto and roll a good quality hot dog in it.  Then gently fry in a pan, rolling the dogs several times to crisp up as much of the surface as possible.  Then server with your favorite condiments.  And, yes, I like ketchup and mustard on my hotdogs.  I'm not even going near that debate.  Enjoy.

Beef Jerky Your Way

My Dads beef jerky.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

I have been addicted to beef jerky since before I can remember.  When we went on vacation, Mom always bought me a big package of jerky for the trip and I would munch on it the entire way.  And I was really thirsty when we got to our destination.  One thing is that is a bummer though, is that it is kind of expensive, and unfortunately can contain things that I don't really want to eat.  Some even have MSG, which can be a big problem for people sensitive to MSG, which many Westerners are.  So, what is my normal solution in a case like this?  Make it yourself.  It's fun.

You can buy the beef jerky cures in some grocery stores and almost always in sporting goods stores like Cabelas.  They work well and I have used them in my early days, but now like to make my own flavors.  So, all you really need is some curing salt and your favorite spice mix.  Curing salt is almost impossible to find in stores, so I like to use Morton Tender Quick because it is easy to use and available in most grocery stores where you find the salt and seasonings, usually on the bottom shelf and comes in a bag.  In this article, I will use this method.  There are other great methods as well.  A lot of people use wet marinades and get great results.  However, this is what I do.

What you will need

• A lean beef roast around 2.5 to 3 pounds.  I like the eye of the round roast because the grain runs the length of the roast and it is really lean.  Perfect for jerky.
• Morton Tender Quick (TQ)
• Your favorite spices or seasonings.  It can even be a wet seasoning like Thai Chili Garlic Sauce, however, you need to wait until after the meat cures to add it.
• A really sharp, long knife
• A large zip top bag
• A sheet of freezer paper (optional)
• An old spice bottle with holes for shaking the spices on the meat
• A piece of tape that is not transparent like masking or electrical
• A dehydrator (I use a Nesco with a temperature control)
• Bags or an air tight container for storing the finished jerky

Day 1

• Trim any fat or sinew from the meat
• Weigh the meat and write the weight down.  This is important so you can measure the correct amount of TQ.
• Place the roast in the freezer until it firms up.  This will help with slicing.
• Slice the meat with the grain (my dad cuts across the grain so it is easier to chew) about 1/8" thick.
• Lay the slices out on a sheet of butcher paper on your counter.  Butcher paper works well because you want all the pieces in one place without overlapping.
• Measure out the correct amount of TQ for the weight of the meat (usually 1 TB per pound)
• Place the TQ in your shaker bottle
• Place the piece of tape at the half way mark of the depth of the TQ in the bottle.
• Shake half of the TQ evenly over all the slices of meat.
• Season your meat with dry seasoning at this point as well.  If you are using wet seasoning, you will apply that on day 2.
• Flip each piece and repeat with the remaining TQ and dry seasoning.
• Stack the meat back up and place in a zip top bag.  Squeeze out as much air as possible and place in the refrigerator for 24 hours or more.  Longer doesn't hurt, especially if you have some thicker slices.  You just need to time this so that you have enough time the next day to dehydrate it, which can take 5 hours or more depending on how thick you cut your meat.

Day 2

• Remove the meat from the bag.
• If you are using a wet seasoning, separate the slices and place them in a large bowl.  Add your wet seasoning and mix it in well with your hands.
• Place the meat on your dehydrator racks being careful not to overlap any pieces.
• Dehydrate, checking occasionally until the jerky is dry.  It should be leathery but should not break when you bend it.  If it does, it is too dry.  You can still eat it, but it won't be as good.
• Remove from the dehydrator and place in plastic bags or an air tight jar.  In theory, this stuff should last quite a while at room temperature if you keep it dry, but mine never lasts longer than a couple weeks.  It can also be vacuum sealed and stored in the freezer almost indefinitely.

There you have it.  A  bit of work, but it is fun and worth it in the end.  So now you have a high protein snack, or, you can rehydrate it with some boiling water and use it to make almost anything you can make with beef (as long as your seasoning will go with it).  This is great for camping.

Cooks Note:  You don't need to use any seasoning if you don't want to.  You can make beef jerky with TQ only.  TQ does have a bit of sugar in it, so you will end up with a pleasant dried beef, which may work even better for camping meals.

Make your own pickles

Bread and butter pickles.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

I'm not sure if it because I am German, but I love sour stuff.  I will eat just about anything pickled or fermented.  The inspiration for this post comes from getting really pissed off at the grocery store the other day.  I don't typically buy pickles because my mom usually keeps me well stocked, but my stock is mostly gone so I wanted to scout out some options.  Have you read the ingredients of pickles lately?  Try to find a brand that does not have sodium benzoate.  Even the refrigerator dills have preservatives. Moreover, some even have artificial color!  WTF!?  Let's think a minute here.  Isn't pickling, by definition, a form of food preservation?  So what's up with the preservatives?  Let's not forget the artificial color.  What, they aren't pretty enough?  I am totally blown away by that and I wouldn't accept any explanation of it, no matter who delivered it.  It just doesn't make sense.

Fortunately, there is a solution to this and we don't have to put up with that BS.  Make them yourself.  I realize that it is winter an fresh cucumbers are impossible to come by, but pretty much every grocery store carry the hybrid cucumbers.  Granted, we don't know how they are grown, but at least the enemy has been reduced to the cucumber itself and not some chemist at a pickle factory.  If you can find organic, all the better.  As an added bonus, home make refrigerator pickles are easy to make and don't take a ton of time.  Not to mention, they are better than store bought (no big surprise there).  My friend Steve, who is a self proclaimed pickle connoisseur, gave these a shining review.  These are ready to eat in a couple days and are really delicious after a week.   Give it a try and let the big manufacturers know that you aren't gong to take any more of their shit.  Enjoy.

Bread and Butter Pickles

• 2 large hybrid cucumbers cut into 1/16th" slices* (they are the long smooth cucumbers that are individually wrapped and have no seeds to speak of.  Great for B&Bs)
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
• 1 clove of garlic, thinly sliced
• ½ red bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and thinly sliced
• ½ green bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and thinly sliced
• 1 TB kosher salt

Brine:

• 1 ⅔ cups sugar
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1 ½ tsp. brown mustard seeds
• ½ tsp. celery seed
• ½ tsp. ground turmeric
• 1 TB kosher salt

1. Combine cucumbers, onion, garlic, and peppers in a large bowl and sprinkle with salt. Let sit for 1 hour. Transfer to a 1-qt. glass jar, leaving the liquid behind, and set aside.
2. Bring sugar, vinegar, mustard and celery seeds, turmeric, and salt to a boil in a 1-qt. saucepan.  Pour mixture over the vegetables and seal the jar. Let cool to room temperature and then store in refrigerator.  They are ready in a couple days and will keep for a couple weeks, although I have never been able to test that theory because they get eaten quickly.

*Cooks note: A mandolin works great for this and even better if you have a blade with ridges so they look like official B&Bs.

Mise en place

Mise en place for shrimp chowder.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

I always tell people that if you are at all interested in being a better cook, you need to learn from the masters.  There are many cooks and chefs out there that are masters, but many are only within reach of culinary school students and apprentices.  I have two favorites that are withing easy reach of the home cook.  Julia Child and Jacques Pépin.  I grew up with SNL, and most everyone else for that matter, picking on Julia because of her large stature, booming voice, and Patrician English.  It wasn't until much later that I truly came to appreciate her for who she was; an intelligent woman of the world that could teach the French a thing or two about their own food.  Although she is gone, she left behind many of her works.  If you do not own a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, get one!  It is the de facto standard text if you want to learn how to cook French food, and whether or not you think you do, you do because it is the base skill set that will allow you to cook virtually anything else.

Even later in my life, Jacques also captured my interest.  I have never seen anyone wield a knife in a kitchen with such skill as Jacques.  I think the moment that took me was when he showed his viewers how to make melba toast.  He quickly removed the crust of the toast with his knife, then he held the toast gently with the palm of his hand and swung the knife through the toast under his hand to make two very thin slices of toast.  I just about fell off my chair.  I have pretty good knife skills, but I would have been in the emergency room if I had tried that one.  Wow.  Jacques also offers many texts.  One that I enjoy is Jacques Pépin New Complete Techniques, which augments Julia's work very well.

There are many techniques to learn in the kitchen.  One that I think is important for the average home cook is mise en place, or to put in place.  Professional chefs depend on it, and home cooks can benefit from it, because when you really think about it, it is ingenious and beneficial.  It forces you to think things through; what ingredients I need and when.  It allows you to prepare those things, your "mise" as some chefs casually refer to them, ahead of time.  Without even thinking about it, it helps you organize your work area so when it comes time to cook your dish, you can concentrate on the task at hand instead of having to scrounge up ingredients at the last minute.  It allows you to...well, cook.  One of the things that most often plagues inexperienced home cooks is becoming overwhelmed when cooking for a group.  This technique allows you to examine things and break them down into smaller, more manageable parts.  Then, the stress melts away and you can focus on your work.  After all, cooking is supposed to be fun.  Think how cool you will look when your guests arrive and your "mise" is "en place".  Then you can grab a libation, visit with your guests and prepare the meal, cool as a cucumber.  Remember, you don't want to be that person that is freaking out flying around your kitchen like some big jacked up moth.

In the example above, I organized my mise en place for shrimp chowder.  The first thing I did was remove the corn from the cob and put them in a bowl.  Next, I boiled the cobs with the shrimp shells, from my shrimp which was also cut up an put into a bowl, to make a nice stock.  As that was cooking together, I chopped my carrots and celery and placed them in a bowl.  Yes, technically those could have gone into individual bowls, but I had them portioned out and were all going into the pool together anyway.  Then I diced onion and pepper into another bowl.  Then, the potatoes.  Finally, the shrimp/cob stock was done and went into the measuring cup along with what I scraped off the cobs.  Not pictured are the shrimp, corn, turkey stock, and cream, which were already "en place".  Finally, all I had to do was cook the chowder, which was splendid, I might add.  And why?  I thought things through and concentrated on the task of cooking so that I could taste and adjust and coax it into what I wanted.  And it was easy, relaxing, and fun.

Calamari Stew - Because Squid are Cool

Calamari Stew.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

Squid, or calamari as it is commonly called, is not one of the most common ocean dwellers used in todays kitchens.  I think there are many reasons behind this, but I would venture to guess that the number one reason is, well, look at the picture.  When you order calamari in restaurants, you rarely get the tentacles, which is a shame because they are tasty.  I get it, though.  Most Americans don't like food that looks too much like what it looked like when it was alive, especially things with tentacles.  Therefore, most calamari is cut into strip lengthwise, breaded, then deep fried and served with some kind of spicy sauce, at which point, it resembles squid about as much as a leather shoe resembles a cow.  Maybe if we understood the squid more, we would change our minds.

A squid is a cephalopod, and is related to the octopus and cuttlefish.  They live in the cold ocean, swimming in nice clean water and eating seafood.  They are bioluminescent, which means they can light up based on their moods, so I guess you could say that they are into the performing arts.  They also get around using water jet propulsion, so they are high tech.  Let see a pig or cow do that.  (Most commercially raised pork and beef don't spend their lives in clean water, in fact, it is quite the opposite.)  Then, after a living in the ocean, they are caught and sold fresh at fish markets, unless you live where it do, in which case they are cleaned, and frozen into big blocks and sold at the grocery store.  The latter is the kind I will refer to in this post as it is probably what most people have access to.  Relatively inexpensive for seafood, somewhere around five bucks a pound, they are fairly easy to obtain.

They require a bit of cleaning, even though the packaging may state that they are cleaned, which they sort of are in that most of the guts are gone and the skin has been removed from the bodies.  I will start with the tentacles.  They need to be cleaned in such a way that everything is removed except the tentacles and the part that holds them all together, essentially everything past the eyes and beak.  Sometimes there is extra "stuff" attached that used to be on the inside of the squid that needs to be removed.  If that freaks you out, don't use the tentacles as the bulk of what you buy is body anyway.  It is also a good idea to feel around inside the bodies with a finger because you will probably find a cuttlebone or two in a batch of squid.  In fact, I have never had a batch of squid that didn't have at least a couple of them.  It looks like a long, clear leaf and isn't good for anything.  

Once the bodies are cleaned, you are ready to cook with them.  They can be left whole, or sliced into rings, like I did in the picture above.  The important thing about squid, as with many types of seafood, is that they need to be cooked very quickly, or for a long time.  Anything in between and they are like eating rubber bands.  So, basically that means that you can dredge them in flour or batter and fry them until golden brown, in which case it is only a matter of a few minutes, or stew them for about an hour and a half.  The recipe above was adapted from my cioppino or the octopus stew, if you are interested.  I hope you will give it a shot, or at least try cioppino, if you want to ease into it slowly.  Enjoy.

Aioli

Saffron Aioli.  Photo by Rob Robitaille

Well, I am back after a short summer that I felt needed to be enjoyed as much as possible.  To be honest, I realized that I don't have a huge following of people in a world with numerous food blogs and I kind of pulled back from the whole blogging thing.  But then I started reading the blog of Johnny B. Truant, and basically learned that you need to quit worrying about stuff and just do it.  Maybe this blog will never have a huge following, but if I worry about that, I won't do it, as I haven't for the past couple months.  So, sometimes you have to just say fuck it and try to be as awesome as you can be.  Like Johnny says, no one is going to give you the gift of awesome, you have to make it yourself by doing awesome things.  This is my attempt at being as awesome as I can.  I digress.  On with food talk.

Aioli is one of those things that people often times have never heard of, yet have probably eaten several times, usually going by the moniker of something something spiced mayo, and usually one of those somethings in garlic.  In its most basic form, aioli is mayonnaise seasoned with garlic.  Ta-da!  Usually a lot of garlic.  I have found that a little garlic goes a long way, but as with most things, tastes vary.  The fun thing about aioli is that it is one of the basic French sauces, and not unlike many French sauces, is based on another sauce.  Feel free to make your own mayo for this, but I am perfectly happy with a good quality store bought mayo.  Once you have aioli, you can be imaginative and add what you like to tailor it to a specific application.  In the above example, I added a nice pinch of saffron to some aioli and stirred it every few minutes over the course of an hour so that the saffron infused into it and turned it a beautiful golden yellow color.

Another great thing about aioli is that, unless you make your own mayo, you don't even need to remember any real proportions, just don't burn it with garlic.  Now, aioli isn't for every type of food.  Obviously, it adds a silky mayo texture and mouth feel, but it also adds garlic, so it is a bit of a double whammy, so you need to be careful.  That being said, it goes well with fish, some times chicken, eggs, and many vegetables like potatoes and asparagus.

Here are a few of my favorites and how I use them:

• Plain old aioli - fish, potatoes, asparagus
• Creole spiced aioli - corned beef, believe it or not
• Saffron aioli - fish, potatoes, deviled eggs, Tortilla Espanola, salmon cakes
• Ponzu* aioli - pan seared salmon, deviled eggs, salmon cakes
• Wasabi aioli - pan seared salmon or tuna, deep fried chicken wings
• Dill aioli - salmon, and salmon quiche
• Green peppercorn and caper aioli - salmon cakes

As for the list above, the recipe is in the name. Just add the accompaniment to taste and let stand for about an hour.  Don't worry, if you use good mayo that has been properly stored within the proper time frame, you won't grow a colony of  people killing bacteria in an hour, although the fear-mongering news media would probably have you believe that now that they are tired about talking about whether eggs are good or bad for you, or if you should wash your chicken.  But that is another post.

* Ponzu is a wonderful Japanese sauce that looks like thin soy sauce.  The flavor is hard to describe without going into each ingredient that makes up ponzu, which many times does not help the situation as those ingredients are just as strictly Japanese as ponzu itself.  Just think of it as a light, yet full bodied sauce, faintly reminiscent of a thin soy sauce, but less harsh and salty with a slightly acidic citrus note.  You typically see it served with tataki (see my duck tataki post).